How to record your parents’ life story in their own words
Let them tell it in pieces, not all at once. A life story is easier to tell as twenty short conversations than as one long one. Start with the people they knew and the places they lived, keep their exact words, and put each story beside the person it is about. The order can come later.
Why it is hard to start
Most people put it off because it feels too big. “Tell me your life” is not a question anyone can answer. And a parent may feel their life was ordinary, with nothing worth writing down. That is almost never true. The house they grew up in, the job they hated, the dance where they met: these are what their grandchildren will want most.
There is also the worry of getting it wrong. A parent may not remember a date, or may remember a story differently from a brother or sister. That is fine. A life story keeps what they remember, marked as remembered, and the records can be checked beside it.
A little at a time
- Pick one person or one place. “Tell me about your mother” or “What was the street like?” is enough for a sitting.
- Twenty minutes is plenty. Stop while they still have more to say. They will think of it again before next time.
- Keep their words. “We had nothing, but we never went hungry” is worth more than a tidy summary of it.
- Write down every name and place that comes up, so the people can be found again in the records.
- Come back to it. The second time a story is told, it often comes with something new.
By voice, if they would rather talk
Many parents would rather talk than type, and talking brings back more. The voice recorder on a phone is enough to begin, used with their agreement. Or sit beside them and type what they say. Either way, note who was talked about after each session, or the recordings will be hard to use later.
From stories to a life
Once there are enough stories, a life begins to show its shape: childhood, work, marriage, children, the moves between. Put the stories in that order and let the records fill the gaps. A census return can say who lived in the house in 1921. A marriage record can give the church and the date. What the records cannot give is why, and that is what your parent can.
How Heirstory keeps a life story
Heirstory gives your parent someone to tell it to. Gene, an AI genealogist, sits down with them in a spoken sitting in a web browser, or by typing. Gene asks about the people already on the family’s tree and remembers what was said last time.
- Their story, in their own words. What they say aloud is written down as they speak and kept as their story, in parts. They can read it and change anything, and every version is kept.
- Set beside the records. The people they talk about are on the family’s tree, with the certificates and census returns that prove the dates.
- Their choice who reads it. Their story shows only to those who see them, and everyone it names, in full. Anything about a living person’s health, separations, disputes or crimes waits for that person first.
- Theirs to take away. Anyone can download a full copy of everything they may see, whenever they like.
Questions
Can I start it for my parent?
Yes. Start the family yourself, add your parent to the tree, and invite them when they are ready. Sit beside them for their first sitting, on their own account, so that what they tell is kept as theirs.
What if they do not want everything shared?
Each person decides what the rest of the family see of them. Anything about a living person’s health, separations, disputes or crimes waits for that person first.
Is it a book?
No. Heirstory does not print books. It is a living record of the family, which grows each time someone adds to it and can be downloaded whole at any time.